#this is about aromanticism btw
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one of my things with love is that i think it's probably like colors. yeah we have a thing that we all sort of agree is red. but we have no way to know if other people see red the same way as us. your red could be totally different from mine and we would never know because it has functionally the same relation to all of us and so we all just call it red. i have no way of knowing if anyone else on earth feels love the exact same way in which i do and in fact i think most people probably don't...
#this is about aromanticism btw#yeah i use love in a conventional way sometimes (telling friends i love them. all that)#genuinely though i do think that i feel love in a different way from everyone else#which is. alienating.#but also. intimate. is the word i want to use i think.#i have this thing that is just for myself. i am so aware of the way that i feel these emotions and they are just for me to understand.#special and beautiful and all that. aromanticism to me#valentine notes#aromantic#aromanticism
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"this character isn't aro they're-"
"this character can't be aro because-"
too late. I've already hit them with my aromantification beam.
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i love being aro so fucking much
#literally i'm just. feeling very aro today. was thinking about it and listening to songs with aro vibes. and gods#truly#i LOVE IT#wouldn't have it any other way#aromantic#aro#aromanticism#aro pride#aro positivity#i was thinking about dyeing the currently color-less streaks in my hair green#and you know what?#i think i'll actually do it#my god i love aromanticism#we're all the coolest people in the planet btw#my posts
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Happy pride month aros
#aromantic#aro#i want this on a t shirt#avi if you've seen this already. no you haven't#btw do not tag this as ace. this is about aromanticism okay. not asexuality
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my (admittedly lackluster) attempts at finding a queerplatonic partner have turned out to be fruitless (pun intended) endeavors so I've decided to turn to our lovely friend the Internet in search of a fellow queer little freak to be my partner
#yes I am lonely and yes I am desperate#but we're all filled with yearning on this hellsite#and you are in no place to judge#BTW I am a minor so if you are not don't hmu about this post cuz I'm no interested#aromanticism#queer#aromantic#aroflux#qpr#queerplatonic#qpp#alterous yearning#arospec
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ten x rose love loses moodboard - space girl by frances forever // doctor who (2005) 2x03 doomsday // why losing rose was so devastating on doctor who, according to david tennant // twitter user arojotaro // tumblr user heartless-aro // against the kitchen floor by will wood // doctor who (2005) 4x13 journey's end // julie gardner in the journey's end dw confidential // a screenshot of my discord messages
#tenth doctor#10th doctor#rose tyler#doctor who#dr who#my edits#'''''my edits'''''#aspec doc tag#<- this is either my worst or best post in that tag depending on what your definition of good or bad is#ten rose love loses#'twitter user arojotaro' it's just me btw that's another one of my stupid posts i just thought it would look nicer in the citations#bc tumblr user heartless-aro also has a post abt aromanticism that is vaguely about fish#immortal alien that dies in 6 years can be such a good metaphor for asexuality and aromanticism- [i am gunned down by the firing squad]
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What are some of your favorite aro-/ace-coded fob lyrics?
oh fuck yes a little bowl of seeds just for me
boycott love from disloyal order of water buffaloes is a personal favorite of mine. its a lyric i really really want tattooed at some point. that's not the only lyric i latch onto from an aro perspective but it's probably the biggest one
basically the entirety of it's hard to say "i do" when i don't but a special mention goes to you are appealing to emotions that i simply do not have as well as the only ring i want buried with me are the ones around my eyes
it's true romance is dead / i shot it in the chest and in the head from the music or the misery is also a favorite of mine, also just that whole song in general
i thought i loved you but it was just how you looked in the light in hum hallelujah resonates with a lot of queer folks i've found, and it's no different for me
same goes for it's a strange way of saying that i know i'm supposed to love you from g.i.n.a.s.f.s.
i'm outside the door, invite me in / so we can go back and play pretend from alone together brings me back to when i was trying to perform heteronormativity/amatonormativity even if it was making me miserable
i also hold to a very similar vibe with she said "i love you 'till i don't" / i am just playing house, no idea what i'm doing now from sunshine riptide and also most of burna boy's verse, frankly. i fell in love but i didn't fall down and feel like i'm bulletproof, baby in particular
american beauty/american psycho, particularly the first verse. i think i fell in love again / maybe i just took too much cough medicine
golden is a big one for queer folks in general i've found. the chorus especially hits hard from an aro and/or ace reading. and i saw god cry in the reflection of my enemies / and all the lovers with no time for me
i've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth is a heavy song no matter how you slice it. but that chorus gets to me in particular: we can fake it for the airwaves / force our smiles, baby, half-dead / from comparing myself to everyone else around me
the kids aren't alright reads to me as one big anthem for platonic love above anything romantic, which resonates super hard with me. the second verse has a lot of good lines that i latch onto from an aroace lens too. your love is anemic and i can't believe / that you couldn't see it coming from me
pretty much the whole chorus of HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON'T does it for me, and those verses have got some good aroallo vibes too! i never really feel a thing... confidants but never friends...
the whole of fake out is a gimme. that chorus rings real true. starts with love is in the air, i just gotta find a window to break out and finishing with but it was all a fake-out
i've got all this ringing in my ears and none on my fingers is one that has another highly applicable title but the whole refrain of the truth hurts worse / than anything i could bring myself to do to you paired with the one-two punch of that second verse REALLY gets under my skin
and of course, the culminating one: you are what you love, not who loves you from save rock and roll. obviously there are a LOT of ways to read that line
there are a couple other songs i latch onto - wilson (expensive mistakes); a little less "sixteen candles", a little more "touch me"; the (after) life of the party to name a few - but the ones listed above are the big lyrics that resonate with me on a personal level
just in general i have a shitton of fob over on my aro playlist (which doubles as a general aroace/queer playlist but has a lot of emphasis on aromanticism) in case i forgot to mention anything but like i said those are the big ones
#askin hours#anon#happy aro awareness week lol ive had this in my drafts for mONTHS and forgot about it#sorry it took so long to answer i have a million asks in my inbox and just do not have time most days#go listen to aromanticism by moses sumney for black history month and aro awareness week btw#now THAT there is an album that rewrote my neural chemistry
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#mavaniart#gravity falls#aromantic#stanford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#this is meant to be entirely platonic btw. in case you were wondering#ive been feeling very strongly lately about aromanticism and luckily i had a guy to draw so. yea#uh. anyway. ignore the one million style changes n shit this took at least one full month#of me workong on it on and off. until i just ran out of juice lol. so yea#im glad people have their fun with shipping. in my mind this guy is so aromantic hes pulling pussy he doesnt even want
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also love aroaceness love being aroacespec but i need to vent for a sec, realizing im on the aro spectrum and queering my ideas about how relationships can be has fucking eviscerated my ability to write romance. nearly every one i try to write ends up being more queerplatonic and suuuper not traditionally romantic (in most cases you can't even really call it that), and even when it doesn't, i get totally lost trying to write the attraction bc - i can't describe it as "wanting to be more," bc romance isn't inherently better/more fulfilling than platonic relationships, i think an actual romantic relationship is already just a best friend with different intimacy, but you can't boil it down to JUST that, bc then that's physical/sexual attraction which is a whole third thing, and anyway friends can kiss and sleep together perfectly platonically, and what even IS the difference between platonic and romantic anyway? like yeah my romance writing when i was 12 was a little more shallow but at least it was ROMANCE. please its so dark in here
#truly 100% of what it comes down to is 'what the fuck is the dividing factor between romantic and platonic attraction'#and the answer is i have no fucking idea. i KNOW it exists but i don't know what it IS#and dont say 'desire for your relationship to be percieved as romantic/platonic' that's still not a satisfying answer.#it ACKNOWLEDGES that there's a difference but it doesn't say what the difference IS!!#and i refuse to believe that the only defining factor of romantic vs platonic is outward perception. these are Internal feelings you#KNOW that it's deeper and more complex than that.#WHAT IS ROMANTIC ATTRACTION . ITS ALL BESTIEISM ANYWAY#this is all so fucking stupid of me to say btw because i have literally been in love before i KNOW the feeling.#i read plenty of romance and even my old writing i think is actually hella good in this regard#but i WILDLY overthink every single thing about it now. i feel like i need to justify these dynamics with#'WHY is this a romantic relationship when every element of it could be kept and it could be a perfectly platonic relationship?'#<- this is how relationships should be. i think. thats a Bestie that youre in love with.#but it makes writing it SO HARD. because i dont know what MAKES it romantic INSTEAD of platonic#anyway. ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!#mine#writing#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#i need a tag for this bc this is a thing ive talked about before#->#the great romanticplatonic pedanticism#relationships
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Blue flag basically
#blue flag#ao no flag#touma mita#toma mita#toma blue flag#taichi ichinose#futaba kuze#anime and manga#bisexuality#Blue flag? 😏 more like blue fa- *gets shot*#but seriously#i can't stop reading it as blue fag helppp 😭😭😭#Also i recommend everyone to read it#is kinda bittersweet and even though i despise love triangles i kinda like this one#specially since i remeber something that red from overly sarcastic productions said about “true triangles”#when character A likes character B Character B likes Character C and characted C likes Character A#and that it could never be a true triangle cause one of them be gay otherwise#so the fact this one WAS a true triangle#and it explored and called out some bs about society and heteronormativity#but also subtly brought aromanticism and asexuality in a way#and a little bit of transness#but the last one is just kind of a headcanon of mine lol#Also dude if i tell you i actually screamed and was kicking my feet at the end#i did not expect it AT ALL#i feel like this one and stars align will always hold a special place in my heart now#is weird for manga to make me cry so this one kinda surprised me too#also IT HAS A HAPPY ENDING#there were some stuff that pissed me off but they were minimal#lgbtq#btw this meme is lowkey canon just so you know like i won't say spoilers but believe me when i say it's kinda canon
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hi!! i know u talk a lot about aromanticism a lot on here, but i don’t think i’ve ever seen u talk about aromantic anthy. would u mind discussing/elaborating on it or linking to a post where u do because i’m very curious!!
i got a similar ask half a year ago or something ridiculous like that on my main blog, but i’d like to really do justice to my url right now and explain it in more concrete terms.
i will say, it’s important to bear in mind that this reading of anthy’s character is very much informed by my own experiences, and a lot of those experiences are ones im not keen to talk in depth about. but you know. let’s make some nebulous gestures towards ideas of being traumatised, being autistic, struggling to meaningfully connect with others and honestly not really wanting to do such because of how they treat you.
like ive previously said, an aromantic perspective on the world would, i think, really benefit anthy. when youve lived your whole life experiencing violence at the hands of these patriarchal structures, of which romance is absolutely one, it’s kinda like. damn. im uncomfortable buying into those ideas.
anthy also has this lovely line in ep 19 where she says to utena ‘romance either happens or it doesn’t’ and it’s just sooooooo. so very interesting to me, actually, that anthy would say something so black and white about ‘romance’, a topic that anthy knows better than a lot of rgu characters is hopelessly confused and arbitrary and often enabling violence. and utena (fellow aromantic gaybo) says 'yeah, i know, but...'. these simplifications, these elisions. what is and isn't articulated. but what? maybe things are much more complicated than we'd like to think.
anyway enough of that tangent. one thing i as a trans and aromantic person always return to when discussing trans and aromantic readings of characters/texts more broadly is that there's no singular piece of evidence that can really cement these readings as Undeniable. it's like. okay. there's a critique of romance as a patriarchal structure in revolutionary girl utena. there's an ambiguity about anthy's feelings towards characters like utena, where there is clearly a queer connection but it takes shape in unconventional and complex ways. me, i'm aromantic, i see all of these pieces and i go oh well that's because she's an aromantic lesbian. you know, there's plenty of little moments i can evidence but those moments can be used to argue for an alloromantic lesbian anthy too. romance is a very arbitrary thing and i think everyone should take their own approach to it unapologetically. of course, mine is that it's hellish and i want nothing to do with it, but im just one guy. and im okay with that. i feel strongly about this reading and it is personal, and id be dishonest to say otherwise, but i do also find that it's well-evidenced in the text. as one of my lecturers once said, don't worry about authorial intent, it isn't real <3
#and authorial intent is NOT real i really cant emphasise that one enough#like it's fun to engage with the stuff a writer/director/whoever thinks about their art#and it can be very useful#but it's not definitive. that's not the last word on the topic#like did be papas consciously write any rgu character as aromantic? idk probably not#but i find such powerful aromantic narratives and themes coming through in this show#in how it chooses to examine relationships and power dynamics and the pervasive nature of romance as a concept#how it is so easily unequal how it is DESIGNED to be unequal how it offers chivalry and safety to mitigate harm#which it directly enables. makes easier#and that doesnt mean that aromanticism is the only solution bc you know. some ppl do feel romantic attraction#but it's like ok let's rethink 'romance'. let's combat amatonormativity let's challenge the relationship hierarchy that privileges#families and romantic partners in such a dangerous dangerous way#and i see all of that in this show and it resonates so deeply with my experiences many of which pertain to aromanticism#and you know. this show made me accept that im aromantic. so i think that speaks to how strongly these themes come through#but i digress. i find it hard to talk about this stuff bc its deeply personal and quite arbitrary#and also every time i do someone sends me anon hate about how i hate gay people. which is so cool btw please keep doing that#i didnt realise that loving being gay and loving gay people and loving when gay people love each other made me homophobic /s#just to clarify for the second time that is all sarcasm im gay and aromantic and i dont have time for arophobia here#anywayyyyy#im aware of all the asks ppl have sent me. im working on it i prommy <3#dais.txt#dais talks aspec
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I don't want love to be the point. If anything, i want it to be the starting point.
So many stories have at least a romance subplot. A plotline revolving around love - love being the goal, whether the characters reach it in the end or not. Love being the moral of the story. Love being the angle at which the world is perceived. Even when it's a tragic breakup story, the story is still about love. I'm tired of that.
I want to see characters living their story despite love. I want characters to fall in love at the beginning, but then things happen in their life, and they realize they've slowly fallen out of love for no apparent reason. I'm sick of love being that all-encompassing force that survives in all circumstances. I want love to mean nothing. To be there, but be pointless, to simply matter less than other things in the world. When a character asks "Why don't you love me?", i want the other to reply "Why do you love me?", because this love is merely a facet of both characters' personal issues. I want them to continue their story, knowing who loves whom and who doesn't love whom, and having to work with it. I wish for once, love wasn't seen as a wonderful thing, but instead talked about in a neutral way. Characters loving someone but not caring about that love. Characters loving someone but slowly forgetting about that person. Characters loving someone but knowing their love won't matter. Characters loving someone but understanding they can't give that person what they need. Characters loving someone but this love being overshadowed by all the other ways in which they care about that person. I want love to be anything, anything but the point.
#this may or may not be because i'm aromantic#so yeah this is mostly about romantic love#listen - aro representation in stories is great. but what i need even more is for love to be taken off that pedestral.#please consider putting love in your story just to completely crush the concept#that's what i'm doing btw - maybe i'll talk about that in a post#writeblr#writers on tumblr#romance#love#love story#aromantic#aro#aromanticism#arospec#writerscommunity#writers and poets#story#fuck love
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I wish that certain fandoms understood the depth and complexity of what the aromantic experience is. I hate having to explain that not everyone loves the same, or even loves at all.
why can't you educate yourself instead of attacking and shaming others?
#LET PEOPLE INTERPRET A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP AS NOT ROMANTIC PLEASE.#not talking about just the dsmp fandom btw#talking about like them all#also shoving qprs into a box when the whole point is that its outside of the box. its different#aromanticism#the aromantic experience#arospec#not gonna tag certain fandoms because lord have mercy u guys are like attack dogs
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You ever get soured on a headcanon that you literally have just because people are stupid about it.
#this is about aro Jake English btw#i believe she's arospec because. duh. ive read homestuck#but people who r liek jake is aroace and is perfectly happy being all by themself forever:) piss me off#NOOOOO#sorry to say but she clearly wants to be with dirk.#theyre straight up calling him her boyfriend even after they break up and summoning her tulpa of him into reality when she wants to be save#nobody wants to actually explore in fiction what being with an aro person would be like#aro characters are either like never allowed to date or their aromanticism is completely ignored for the sake of shipping#theres an inbetween guys its called DOING MORE THAN SURFACE LEVEL READINGS#hating on main again
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oh don't mind me just watching a less hot version of rgb get popular and posted everywhere
#YES I'M JUDGING#actually i'm aroallo and have to face amatonormativity so therefore i can do literally anything i want forever#anyway i saw him in an animation meme audio compilation thingie#anyway go read TPOH trust me there's lesbians and shit#there's a genderfluid character ok ?#btw my aromanticism isn't actually related to anything here at all i'm just using my general suffering as#an excuse to whine about something unrelated LOL#and whyyy do i keep getting suggested to look under the tumblr sexyman tag#AND WHY DO I CONTINUE TO CHECK THERE#ugh. i am so basic#pumpkin spice latte and leggings and an “i can fix him” character and MY ATTRACTION TO SEXYMEN. basic fucking tumblr white girl#whatever it's ok#tumblr sexyman#tv head
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It sucks when you’re in a can’t formulate a sentence right mood and someone says something that you want to respond to but you can’t
#or just a general not interacting/talking mood#I was also getting the omg you have to do work now feeling when the thing I got it over isn’t actually due til October and I couldn’t get to#doing it so I watched a video essay and pretended I wasn’t online#ysee this post is a second from going into drafts cause that sentence? formulated/worded in a bad way I’m not sure if I agree with#I’m fine btw just not in a doing things mood#this is a post i made#the response I wanted to make sort of: ’make me’ heh the only thing you’d be making me do is live in a place that doesn’t have 4 seasons#and also like internet safety and stuff…#I could go into a long ramble about aromanticism and how that effects my view of the future and living situations but actually I can’t#the having a career field that moves around or is remote does not help those thoughts
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